Carol* has been married to James* for 15 years. Over the years, they have built a successful business and a good reputation in their community. James is an outgoing and friendly guy, an asset when doing business. Carol, a woman with a good education, laid her career aspirations aside to help her husband built his dream business. From the outside, they look like they’re ‘living the dream’. The reality is not quite so ‘dreamy’.
Through the years, James has taken more and more control over Carol’s life because he has the better ‘business head’ and she can’t manage for herself. (Although Carol is an educated woman who used to run the office and keep the books for the business. James pushed her out and made her stay home when she questioned the vast amount of debt they were accumulating. He told everyone that she wanted to stay home to care for the children.)
Carol is now on a strict household budget – James doles out what she can spend and how she can spend it. He has taken her name off the bank accounts because he says he can’t trust her with money. She had a significant savings account when they married – but James emptied that years ago. She has no idea how James spent the money, but it was not used to pay bills. He carefully goes over every receipt and berates her for every perceived penny overspent. James will not allow her to get a job. He says that no one would hire her, anyway. (She did try once when she was younger, but James would create crises to keep her from work, turned off her alarm, left with her car leaving her with no transportation, etc. She was fired for being late too many times.)
James had all the bill addresses changed to the business post office box and took Carol’s key. A bill happened to slip through to their home address and she was mortified to find that it was a credit card issued in her name that had been maxed out and was past due. When she confronted James with it, he became very angry, said it was a mistake, and none of her business. Then he screamed at her all evening about what a suspicious, lying, nagging, worthless woman she was. When she had finally had enough, she ran from the room and locked herself in the bedroom. He became enraged and kicked the door down and threw her out of ‘his’ bedroom, leaving her with a bruised shoulder and a busted lip.
Carol has no money of her own. Her ‘allowance’ is not really enough to buy all the things that James requires to be on the shopping list. She often lacks even the basic toiletry items for herself. She feels like a prisoner in her own home with no resources, no hope, and no help available. After all – who would believe her anyway? James is a respected member of the community.
If Carol’s story sound familiar to you, you may be experiencing financial abuse. There is hope – we can help. And remember – men can be financially abused as well. Call 1-888-554-2501 for more information in Conway County or 501-889-2030 in Perry County.
*’Carol’ and ‘James’ are fictitious characters that were created to highlight the possible signs and aspects of financial abuse. They are not reflective of any one person’s story, real or imagined.
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