The following list includes warning signs that someone may be abusive. If you or a friend experience these “red flag” behaviors from a partner, remember: it is not your fault!
“Red Flags” include:
- Early in the relationship flatters you constantly, and seems “too good to be true.”
- Wants to move too quickly into the relationship.
- Wants you all to him- or herself; insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family.
- Insists that you stop participating in hobbies or activities, quit school, or quit your job.
- Does not honor your boundaries.
- Is excessively jealous and accuses you of being unfaithful.
- Wants to know where you are all of the time and frequently calls, emails, and texts you throughout the day.
- Criticizes or puts you down; says you are crazy, stupid, and/or fat/unattractive, or that no one else would ever want or love you.
- Takes no responsibility for his or her behavior and blames others.
- Has a history of abusing others.
- Blames the entire failure of previous relationships on his or her former partner; for example, “My ex was totally crazy.”
- Takes your money or runs up your credit card debt.
- Rages out of control with you but can maintain composure around others.
Abuse is never the fault of the victim! If you experience these “red flags,” reach out for support from a domestic violence advocate or confide in a friend. Contact The Safe Place at 888-554-2501 or The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233).
Resource: NNEDV
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