Dating violence is repeated verbal, physical, or sexual abuse used to frighten, hurt, and control a girlfriend or boyfriend. It is power play.
Does it affect us?
- One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
- One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physical hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
- Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence – almost triple of the national average.
What if my friend is in an abusive relationship?
- Express your concerns
- Be accepting, be there for and listen to your friend
- Support your friend’s strengths
- Never talk to the abusive partner
- Work on a safety plan
- Believe her!
- Keep educating yourself on dating violence
- Tell her it’s not her fault and she doesn’t deserve it
- Don’t spread gossip – it could put him in danger
- Don’t try to make her do anything she doesn’t want to (it won’t work unless it is her decision)
- Tell him that he is not crazy
- Encourage her to talk to family, a local crisis line, etc. . .
- See if she needs medical assistance
How can I tell if I am in an abusive relationship? Ask yourself:
- Are you afraid of the person you’re going out with?
- Does he/she call you names, make you feel stupid, or tell you that you can’t do anything right?
- Does the person you go out with tell you where you can and can’t go or who you can and can’t talk to?
- Does the person say it’s your fault when he/ she hurts you?
- Does this person shove, grab, hit, pinch, hold you down, or kick you?
- Is the person you’re seeing really nice sometimes and really mean at other times (almost like two different people)?
- Does this person make frequent promises to change?
How can I stay SAFE?
- Smart thinking – Does someone know where I’m going and when I’ll return?
- Area around me – Am I in a public place? Am I aware of my surroundings?
- Friends – Do I have current contact numbers and emergency contact numbers on my phone? Is my cell phone battery charged? I Hope can make this easier and faster.
- Emergency – Do I have a plan if I need to leave quickly?
Healthy relationships versus Unhealthy relationships
Healthy relationships are based on equality and respect. Abusive ones are based on power and control. Abusive partners use violence and other tactics to get what they want. Healthy relationship is built around trust and respect. Open honest communication relies on two individuals striving toward that common bond.
Information used in this presentation courtesy of www.loveisrespect.org, The Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence, www.fscic.org.
