Children and Phones: How Young is Too Young?

In today’s society, children are using smart phones and the internet at a younger age than ever before.  According to Judy Arnall, author of Parenting with Patience, the average age a child gets their own phone is 10 years old.  This means by the 4^th to 5^th grade most children will have a smart phone and be able to use today’s most popular apps such as Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok (the list goes on).

On these apps, children are exposed to videos and pictures that are often too mature for their age. Often times, they are also exposed to cyber bullying and people who they do not know trying to talk to them or adding them as “friends” or “followers” on these apps.  Arnall suggests that studies have shown children’s social media filters are not developed until at least the age of 13 and sometimes later.  This means if your child has their own phone by the age of 10 there are at least 3 years where they could be posting things or talking to people and not realizing the ramifications from the things they are posting and the information they are giving to people they may not know well.  For these reasons, as well as others, (such as vision problems and lack of motivation to do things like playing outside or talking to people face-to-face), many parents have started questioning the best time to give their children their own phones.

According to Todaysparent.com, it is best to wait until later in life (at least 14, but 16 is the preferred age) to let your kids have their own phones with internet access.  They suggest that if your child needs to have a phone to keep in touch with you in the mean time, stick to an old school flip-phone with no internet access.  Phone calls and texting should be enough to keep in touch as needed. They also suggest limiting screen time.  For children aged 2-4 limit screen time to one or less hours a day for watching videos; for children 5-11 limit to just two hours of screen time per day. For children 12 and above, it is still recommended to only have two hours of screen time with breaks after every 30 minutes to an hour.  They recommend having phone-free weekends, having them shut their phone off by 9 PM, and do not allow them to keep the phones in their room over night.

Other tips to try to remember when dealing with your children and their phones are:

• Don’t let the pressure of other children having phones make you think your kid needs a phone too.  Even if you decide to wait until 16 to give your kid a phone, they will catch up with their friends in no time!
• Social Media can leave kids vulnerable because it is one big ‘popularity contest’ – something they already deal with on a day to day basis. Remind your children it is okay to not have the most views or likes on their pages. Also, make sure they maintain outside interests.
• Keep in touch with other parents who are concerned about the use of smart phones with young kids.  The more support you have, the easier it will be.

If you or anyone you know needs help with dealing with Internet Safety, contact the Child Advocate at The Safe Place at 501-354-1884.  You can also call the Crisis Line at 1-888-554-2501 or our Perryville location at 501-889-2030.