As you may know, The Safe Place has been doing a miniseries on teen dating violence since last month was Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. This will be the last blog in our miniseries and in it, we will be going over very important tips for breaking up with an abusive or unhealthy partner.
First, before breaking up with an abusive partner, it is important that your teen knows a few things such as:
- Being scared about feeling lonely is normal. After all, you did care about this person.
- It is completely normal to miss them once you break up with them.
- If their partner was controlling, it takes time to adjust to making your own decisions again and it may feel weird at first.
- It is important to have a support system of friend and family ready before breaking up.
- Write down why they want to leave their abusive partner. This will come in handy if they feel like they want to get back together with them.
- Take fear seriously and have a plan in place.
- Know that your partner will more than likely not be okay with breaking up and will try to convince you to stay with them. This will not be an easy thing to do, but it is worth it in the end.
Once you have discussed these things with your teen, it is important to come up with a plan on how they will break up with their partner and discuss these tips with them:
- If you do not feel safe, break up with them over the phone or in the very least break up in a public place with people you know around.
- Don’t try to explain your reasons for leaving more than once. Nothing they say will make them happy and they will only try to continuously convince your teen they are making the wrong decision.
- Let friends and family know they are breaking up so that they don’t bring them up or let them come around your teen any longer.
- Remind your teen to trust themselves, if they are fearful, it is for a reason.
- Create a safe word and share with friends and family.
- Tell someone they trust at school what is going on. It may also be a good idea to tell school administrators.
- Save any threatening or harsh texts or messages they have gotten.
No one wants to be in an abusive relationship, but unfortunately it happens all too often. The best thing we can do is have conversations like this with our teens and remind them to SPEAK UP!
S- Step out of the relationship
P- Pay attention
E- Educate others
A- Acknowledge the problem
K- Know your worth
U- Use your best judgment
P- Protect yourself
If you or anyone you know if a victim of domestic violence call The Safe Place at 1-888-554-2501, our office at 501-354-1884, or our Perryville office at 501-889-2030.
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