Drug and Alcohol abuse can affect domestic violence and effect children in many different ways. On one hand, the children’s parents may use drugs and alcohol and then abuse the child while they are under the influence. On the other hand, the child who was a victim or witness of domestic violence growing up may turn to drugs and alcohol when they get older to help cope with that they witnessed and endured. Either way, the effects of drugs and alcohol on and around children can be life-changing for that child.
Studies show that parents who abuse drugs and alcohol have a higher rate of abusing children than those who don’t. They often blame the children for them using saying things such as “I wouldn’t use drugs and alcohol any more if your grades were better and you didn’t fight with your siblings anymore.” This makes the child think everything that is going wrong in the house (including the abuse) is their fault. For this reason, the child may try to keep the house cleaner, get along with their siblings more and get better grades in hopes of their parents stopping using the drugs and alcohol. In reality, these things will not make the parent stop, and that causes the child to blame themselves even more for not being reason enough for their parents to stop using. In turn, this causes the child to live in fear because they never know when the using parent will have an outburst and abuse them or the other non-abusing parent. Even if the child is not the one being abused, if another parent is being abused by a parent who is on drugs or alcohol, it can affect the child in the same way and cause them to still blame themselves for everything going on and blame themselves for not finding a way to get the parent to stop. They may also blame themselves for not being able to help the parent that is being abused. Often, the parent who is ‘using’ will force their partner to use drugs and alcohol with them and this could make the situation even worse for the child and may cause them not to get proper daily care such as food, water, baths, or a good night’s sleep. These are all things that are essential for a growing child.
In growing up in homes such as mentioned above, it causes the child to have a higher rate of using drugs and alcohol when they get older, or possibly even as a teenager. The child may turn to drugs and alcohol because they think it is “cool” or okay to do because their parents have used them all their lives. They may also turn to them because they think it is the only way to cope with the fear, anxiety, and depression they have faced most of their lives. Either way, the child is more likely to use and abuse if they have grown up in or witnessed domestic violence as a child.
So what can be done to help children in these situations? For starters if you or a spouse uses drugs and alcohol, reach out and get help. Go to rehab and get clean. If you or a spouse is also angry when using drugs or alcohol, anger management would also be a good thing to do. If a spouse of yours is using and you and your child are a victim of domestic violence, get out of the relationship as soon as possible. You can call The Safe Place at 1-888-554-2501, our local number at 501-354-1884, or our Perryville office at 501-889-2030. After getting out of the relationship, it is also a good idea to get your child into therapy or counseling for what they have witnessed.
It is never too late to start helping your child and changing their life. Call The Safe Place today if you or anyone you know needs to escape from domestic violence.
Leave a Reply