September 29th, 2020 the world lost a Morrilton native, Dr. Chloe Vaught. She was a woman who was described by many friends and family as beautiful, strong, funny, extremely intelligent, hardworking, and loyal. She was a third year med student who loved helping and caring for people. Her life was tragically brought to an end when her ex-boyfriend shot her multiple times before turning the gun on himself. Dr. Vaught’s brother said that everyone had relationship problems, but he never thought it would end like this.
Chloe had a long, wonderful life ahead of her, but it was taken too soon by domestic/dating violence. No one deserves to go through what Dr. Vaught went though, so we would like to share red flags to look for in unhealthy relationships to honor her life and in hopes of preventing something like this happening in the future.
Dating violence is all about power and control. The violent partner wants to have as much power over their partner as they can. In unhealthy relationships, one often feels compelled to change who they are for their violent partner, they feel like they have to justify their actions, are controlled or manipulated, they are worried when they disagree with their partner, often have a lack of privacy, feel pressure to quit things they love to do, and there is often yelling or violence during an argument.
Sometimes the abuser will try to humiliate them in front of others, call them insulting names, threaten to hurt them, people they care about, or even themselves. They may even say things like “if I can’t have you, no one can,” or try to be in constant contact with them or demand to know where they are or what they are doing at all times. They may try to prevent them from seeing friends or family, try to stop them from going to certain places or get them to quit things they love doing.
They also tend to act jealous and blame them for everything that is going wrong in the relationship or all of the arguments that have come about. Often, the abuser will get very angry at small things and it causes the other person to think they need to walk on eggshells around them to ensure they do not get too upset. Overall, there is almost always something that triggers the abuser to go into a fit of rage.
Often, you will see these relationships online and everything will look perfect and they will look like the happiest couple in the world. Unfortunately, much of the violence goes on behind closed doors. This is why it is so important to keep in close contact with your friends or family that you may suspect is in a violent relationship. Try to keep in touch with them often and check in to see if they need anything.
It is hard to know why Dr. Vaught’s ex-boyfriend felt the need to take her life in the way he did, but one thing is for sure it was senseless and unnecessary for him to do that. If you or anyone you know is a victim of domestic or dating violence please reach out to The Safe Place at 501-354-1884, our hotline at 1-888-554-2501, or our Perryville location at 501-889-2030 before it is too late.
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